India and the Art of Driving!

If you are among the millions who actually take pride in the madness which goes around in the Indian roads then next time someone grabs your throat or grab you boob then you have no right to complain. Many say it’s just a small law which I am breaking but cutting across a signal or by using a one way but then these simple offenses can cause a problem for a lot of people.

The jungle law exists in Indian roads. The basic rule is the bigger vehicle always commits the mistake. So a jaywalker can walk in middle of a road where he is not supposed to walk and still be the innocent victim when you are run over by a car. Same wise a biker can take a zillion cuts and later end up kissing the road but still the poor driver of the SUV is at fault for the misery of the biker.

When you look at the way people behave on the road you will know how cultured they are and it talks a lot about a civilization. This is what happens when slaves are let loose on the roads. This could be a bit harsh but Sri Lanka a country with similar culture actually has better road behaviour than Indians. Indians are the worst and there is nothing which they can do to deny this.

Everyone is in a hurry. It’s like suddenly everyone becomes a medic trying to save a life or a fire engine on its way to dose a fire. Worst is even ambulances and fire engines are not spared here as many infact do not stop to leave way for these emergency vehicles. Worst are the 2 wheelers and the auto guys who try to use this momentum to actually spend behind the ambulance. Maybe they too wanted to have a ride in the ambulance.

The magic of honking which just do not exist anywhere else in the world. Here people actually think that honking can magically clear the road or maybe frustrated people get an orgasm just by honking. I think the latter could be a reality and also never knew so many millions in India have telepathy. Without the use of blinkers people actually manage to turn and the other person is expected to understand that.

High beam is the most dangerous thing on a motor vehicle and in reality the use of it is something which has to be learnt but here many actually do not know that they are dangerous and high beam is on even as early as 5:00 PM when there is amble light to face a cricket ball at 150 km/hr. Worst is when you notify the other person that his high beam is on he just do not get it. Usually the think that you are bored and you are blinking!

People complain about cops in the night catching people who have consumed alcohol. Let me get this straight, 99% of the Indians are pathetic drivers even when sober so one just needs to imagine how they can be when they are drunk. Bikers suddenly think that they are riding a 1000 cc Moto GP bike on a track. Btw, Pulsar is and will never be a sports bike. It is a sad excuse for a bike and it is the root of all the issues on the road now.

So the very people when sober can’t drive in a straight line or rather use the same lane so imagine these idiots driving drunk. Luckily the cops are strict and taken out these idiots from the roads for now.  I mean how tough it is not to go straight as it is the simplest things you can do on the road.

And let me not start on the gearless scooter folks, government busses, share autos, call taxis and the rest. Not to forget the rains and the pesky cyclists along with the entire population of jaywalkers. This county is surely doomed the way people act and behave on the road but maybe the telepathy could save them.