Bloody Cucumber!

This post is rated R for the language and profanity will be part of this post!

Take a leaf out of Vettel’s epic quote on India’s very own F1 driver NK, I would say that after driving in Chennai I can safely say that I would be more comfortable driving a rally car as atleast the trees & boulders just do not move and are in one place. Open wheel racing is a different ball game where it takes years of practice while rallying should come naturally after driving in the streets of Chennai.

99.78% of the people of Chennai are bad drivers, riders & jay-walkers! Never argue with a Statistician on the statistics so don’t bothered about it unless if you are too bothered then it means that you fall in the wrong side of the statistics!

Yesterday the signal was green and a bunch of assholes were crossing when the bloody signal is green which means I can go straight but I could not as these bunch of assholes were crossing and me & a few other motorists where stuck because these assholes were crossing! A cop was there and all he did was watch! These assholes have to be booked because crossing the road when they don’t have signal is actually dangerous. When motorists violate signals they are booked immediately (atleast when the cops needs money) but people get away with Jaywalking!

My other favorite set of people on roads, I have been on 2-wheels (motorized versions) for the last 15 years and never once I have overtaken a guy with blinkers on and turning. Overtaking him and turning still is well a minor sin but then overtaking a guy who is turning right and going straight is a fucking crime! The guy who does it does not deserve to live and he should be shot at immediately! It is the most irritating thing for a driver to see a guy crash/nearly crash/cutting him across and going straight! My best solution, take a double barrel shotgun and pop one on his head!

Blinkers are meant to be used but I feel motorists especially the 2-wheels actually think they save on gas by not using them. The worst culprits are the public transportation vehicles! If I can predict if a guy is going to take a left or a right I would not be sitting and driving! I would put my prediction skills to some other use like betting on football! Blinkers are on cars/bikes/bus/everything cause when you are changing directions be it turning or shifting lanes you need to inform the person behind you of the change. If you don’t use them how the hell will a person coming behind you can predict the change!

Lanes, ah the elusive myth which will never work in Indians are Indians are so bad as drivers that even on an empty road when there are lanes they can’t keep between the lanes! I guess it is the urge to break the rules no matter what happens! Seriously I just want to get a monster truck and just go over the bastards who break the lanes!

Driving in Chennai is a stressful thing. It is actually more stressful than work itself. How did drivers become very bad? Just visit your nearest RTO office (One of the most corrupt government department in the country) and see how the tests are taken. To get a car license all you need is put the 1^st gear and go for 10 meters and then come back in reverse! The most important thing is the use of hand signal which last I know was used a century back! The 2 wheeler test is even more funny! All you need to do is take a U- turn and if you had paid the right amount then you get your license.

Blaming it on the roads is the most ridiculous thing ever! Even giving them the widest stretch of roads the people can still drive like nuts! Guess genetically we are not fit to drive and since rules & regulation are something which not many know the road is a circus! Forget rules & regulations, even basic human courtesy is lacking and if they follow that then the roads are a better place.

Ask anyone running on the roads. It is impossible to run in all roads and even roads which have traditionally be a runner’s road has become bad with the coming of new drivers and stuff. It is a fucked up place and road rage will become the new violent rage!