Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars

If you are looking for a review of the highly popular Fatboy Slim album then stop reading and google for the review but then if you are jobless than you can sure continue ahead. I am not the Monk who sold the Ferrari and today I many not even afford a miniature Ferrari. My only possession of a Ferrari would be some t-shirts of the famous Scuderia racing team.

I am what in the future, could be known as the Recession generation. Things were very different when I was finishing school. The IT boom was in full swing and even working as a janitor in an IT company made sense as you would have got paid more than working as an engineer in a Chemical plant. It was an era was the world ended with IT. Everything was IT and only IT. Even Engineers after doing something as specialized as Civil would do an MBA in Marketing and then join an IT company. That was the Indian Dream.

Murthy & Co seriously ignited the Indian Dream among the Middle Class folks as previously even though it was affordable, cars was not something which everyone would think of while minimalistic lifestyle was the order of the day. Yes there was liberalization and the boom in technology but surely there was a time when having a VCR player was a luxury! For someone who was born in the 80’s and who saw the full swing in the change of the nation, from watching Jungle Book on DD to having dedicated Cartoon Channels, I have seen it all.

Toblerone was a rarity and getting it here was next to impossible while now it available in petrol bunks! Yes things have changed and India has become extremely materialistic. When I was a kid, I could dream of buying an apartment in my area but now to do the same I need to be one of the 3 – Politician, Movie Star or an IPL Cricketer! This is the new era and this is the era where the pyramid takes a bigger gap. When you poor the government takes care of you and if you still have a voting card, the political parties takes care of you while the rich, well they just get richer.

Unfortunately I was never bookish and always felt rebellious against the Indian educational system that when I passed out of school, my grades were not good enough for an engineering free seat or an IT course in Loyola College. Being a Brahmin put down at the bottom of the list! So as clueless I was I ended up taking up Statistics. I still do not know why I took this course but I did it and I survived it. If I was smart I would have taken by Economics and would have had 3 happy years in college or I was really smart would have taken History a course where without doing much I would have excelled but instead I took Statistics.

During Statistics some sense prevailed and I decided to do a MBA degree and being a Brahmin and just a graduate will not cut you anywhere in the Brahminical world and from being an outliner I would become a permanent outcast! The added pressure of finishing a MBA as soon as possible was anchoring me even down. But then like the millions others who do not join the IT industry I decided to join the BPO revolution and took up my first job in E-Serve. I was a processing executive, a no brainer job which I used to crib about but coming to think of it now it was the best job in the world. Easy working hours and you don’t need to think much.

The mind was free to wander and do anything while all you need to do is just the basics. For a 20 year old I was paid 6700 bucks. My granddads retired as General Managers of reputed firms and yet they may not have made so much money ever in their career. This was the new India which was liberated and inflation slowly was racing ahead of anything and everything. I always took this as a temporary job as I always wanted to do a MBA and well spend a fortune on applying and looking at fancy brochures which did not resemble the college one bit (Another post will be on this).

Those were the days where I dreamt about finishing a MBA degree. I was naive to assume that after MBA people would worship me and I would be made the King. That was how a MBA was promoted and only after you do a course you realize your folly. Anyways with the b-schools, I was nearly there but not there yet and as a man looking for a challenge I moved from the BPO industry to the KPO industry. Yes coming to think of it a good move then and I joined an organization where I met some great people who are still some of my closest friends. I was paid a bomb to do “Copy+Paste” and googling with the occasional thinking job. It was a nice gig.

Sometimes when things are nice you are so well settled that you want that chaos in your life. I blame the chaos squarely on the Brahmanical obsession of doing a MBA. MBA would lead to a new world. A world which would not only lead to monetary gains but also would make the prospect of getting married easier. When you are young you fall for all this and well at times you still do but not as much as you would. So with a life of partying out almost every other day and with having a big bank balance I decided to leave it all and do a MBA course. Decided to go back to my alma mater and well though I have hit the sacred place.

I spend another 2 years in Loyola and this time it was different. The last time I was here, I was the sports hero (I would like to call myself that) who well was happy with no worries but now I was the man with a mission. The man who has quit a nice cushy job just after a nice hike as well is now entering a b-school. They say it is good to join a MBA program after working but in India never ever do that. It can be the stupidest decision you can make. Suddenly Loyola has changed……now the canteen was more expensive since it was LIBA and there were women sitting in the classrooms.

What did I learn in 2 years of MBA? Very interesting question actually as even now I cannot answer it completely. Let me try to see if I can answer it atleast in bits and pieces. I did relearn some Statistics, realized I was good at making presentations, can bluff a lot and get away with things, burn time without even doing much, sleep in class looking attentive and realized running is important in life. Running and LIBA are no actual reasons but was around that time. Anyways while in LIBA I fell in love with Marketing and still I am not sure if this was good or not. This exploration will continue till I hit jackpot. So during my days in LIBA I finally decided to enter the cocky world of a Mad Man.

Mad Men or the ad folks, well everyone thinks it is a very glamorous role where when I say late nights it means I am partying with the page 3 crowd while models walk around in office all the time. In reality you had seen some middle aged men with pony tails trying to be a punk rocker and some oldies barking orders. Oh yes then we the kids who believe we are going to change the face of the world running around and working for peanuts. Advertising is like football leagues of Europe. You tend jump around a bit and single firm guys are very rare.

While on the side note ever since I passed out of b-school, Recession took the world by storm. Income was not high anymore while inflation was ruling the roost. An income which was considered awesome a few years back was now just enough as with the price rise, the savings part took a dump. It was the world which continues to exist now and it is this world which I want to leave from. With inflation and recession joining the ad world coming to see it now was actually a suicidal decision.

If I did have a time machine I would have never done a MBA and would have not quit Irevna but since I do not have one I need to live with what is happening now. At times I just wish all was a dream and I could go back to the days when I used to go for 1 hour lunches.

Anyways once you took a decision you cannot go back and well after 2 years of grind I was in a place where I could do anything and everything. Then something fateful and I made another stupid mistake. There was a small window to rectify that but unfortunately due to external circumstances I could not do it. But then I did wake up and steadied the ship. Afterwards the journey continued and while I was paid decently for an advertising professional, I actually became a mad man due to the sheer number of hours I was working. I think from now on I am only going to listen to myself as I truly can only give me sane advice.

Anyways I had an opportunity to live like a Prince but alas something came about and while I was thinking that I am going to be a King the route I took made me into a Pauper today. I joined the IT revolution a little too late and being honest screwed me over big time. While on paper I seem to have a job for life but again factors which decided to play a role played a role and I was cast away into the deep end. Well I did visit some great places which I may have ever not but then if I did use a time machine, I maybe living there right now.

So right now I am halfway between the gutter and the stars. This is the problem of any middle management fellow. This is what recession does to you. You are neither here nor there. All I want to do now is to finish off my debt and then take stock of things. I don’t want a Ferrari and I am just happy with my current blazing Swift. I don’t want to make a different. I want a high paying 9 to 5 job which allows me to slack around and do nothing but also do something to keep me going. Have a few beers and keep running, well that is my ideal life.

And as for the rest, well this is an adventure I have taken and with recession still full on, I possibly have taken the best possible course of action for the time being. I just hope I am right now or else, I don’t know how long I can keep going on quests. Someday will be my day and every dog has its day.